How to deal with school/parties..

It ain't easy being NON-cheesy....

Sometimes I think that dealing with school and parties might just be the hardest part for a food allergic child. As a parent, it's so hard to stand there and say "No honey, you can't have that." and as a kid I bet it's so heart breaking to have to sit at the table and just watch the other kids.

What's been the most difficult for me, personally, is when friends and family KNOW we can't eat certain foods and they never ask how they can accommodate. I can't even count the number of parties we've been to where the food consists only of pizza, Doritos, Cheetos, and ice cream cake. I mean COME ON... you know my kid can't eat CHEESE!?!??! 

So I have a great 3 minute cake recipe. You can whip up a little cake on the way out the door, and grab a can of milk free frosting (most pre-made frosting's are milk free) and by the time cake time rolls around you can frost that little puppy up and make your kid(s) their own special little cake. 

What I've always done is called the party host and asked what the menu will be. Sometimes the party host, usually a mom, will ask if they can grab anything special. If it's pizza, I would usually ask about ordering a small cheeseless pepperoni for my guy, if not I would bring our own pizza. Burgers and dogs are a good safe food... and my favorite party fare... you can usually find me hovering around the grill making sure they leave at least one cheeseless burger!

Once, and only once, a mother was having my oldest to her house for her son's party. She called and asked what my son could eat, and then she planned her entire party menu around his dietary restrictions. That left a memory that I will never forget. That little bit of kindness... that ability to actually drop my son off at the age of 9 and know that he could eat the food, the cake, the candy, ALLLL of it! It really made my day, and really made him feel special. 

School on the other hand has never been easy for us. All of the reward parties are ice cream or pizza. I used to be able to get some tofutti ice cream into the teacher freezer  with it's own scoop and hope for the best. Luckily my son was good enough that he wouldn't eat anything from parties or school without asking "Did my mom say I could have that?" or telling people "I can't eat goldfish." haha. He didn't eat school lunch until 5th grade, and even then I had to go read all the ingredients from the kitchen and send lunches in on the bad days. 

It's been a long hard road socially. My youngest can't eat ANYTHING prepared, so it's definitely going to be more of a challenge when he grows up. I'm tempted to dangle a sign on this one that says "DON'T FEED ME" because people are rude enough to just shove food in your kid's mouth without even thinking twice. 

So leaving home, and counting on having fun at a party just doesn't happen for allergic kids like it does for non-allergic kids. It's heart wrenching to say the least. I'd love to hear any ideas that you may have for parties and school situations!!

Oh, Joy... it's the Holiday Season!

There has always been a little part of me that dreads "family dinners" that are not made by me. It's hard to be a guest in a home of a relative and also ask them to change the way they prepare their food just for your child, or yourself.

If it's for yourself as a grownup, or nursing mother, then it's easy enough to snack on what you can and then just pass on the butter and cream laden dishes when the time comes. BUT, when you are a toddler, pre-schooler, or a little kid, it's not so easy to watch every one else eating and then be told "No, you can't have that." So what's a parent to do? In our case, we are not invited to bring food to share. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, my kitchen resides in a nuclear testing zone and any food I prepare will surely melt my relatives. I'm not offended, no way. Pfffft. I also have tried to ask for the food makers to not plop an entire stick of butter in the corn, or a pint of cream in the potatoes, or smother the rolls with melted butter, but no one ever obliges.

So, here's what I have been doing for the last decade+...

I make sure to have all the foods of Thanksgiving dinner ready in my own house for the making. I have those divided rubbermaid containers also. You always have a couple of options. If you know the turkey will be rubbed with butter or maybe vegetable oil (if you can't eat soy) you can purchase a single turkey breast and bake it the day before. Chicken is also a fine substitute. If your family orders a meal that you are unsure about, bring your own meat. It's just safer that way.

Here's the rest of my quick and easy plan. I usually make my kids stuffing, potatoes, corn, and a bread. I just can't ever be sure of the unknown.

Potatoes and stuffing are super easy as Stove-top is dairy free, just keep a canister of the preseasoned kind on hand. Most boxed potato flakes are perfectly fine too. I think we use Idaho Spuds here. Can of corn, and a pack of dinner rolls and you are good to go! For the potatoes and stuffing,  you can do it at home and heat it later, or if you are lucky to get into the hosts kitchen to boil some water, you can do it at the house. I do it at home.

I just boil a pot of water, measure the stuffing into a bowl, the potatoes into another bowl. I forego the margarine/butter part and use rice milk in the potatoes when my kids are little. Now that my big kid is a teen, I'll use margarine and a little salt in my taters. When the water boils, I just measure it into the bowls, cover, then stir in a little while. I scoop them into the divided containers, add meat, and some corn. We are good to go!

Gravy can be tricky. Making your own is a good option, but hard without a base. Little kids probably won't notice the missed gravy, but if you need to do it in a pinch, here's what I do:

I put 2 tablespoons of margarine in medium pot with 2 tablespoons of flour. I cook it while wisking until it's browned. Then I add a cup of chicken or turkey stock/broth from a box and simmer until thick. You can add a little Gravy Master if you can find it in the store. Gravy Master is not soy free.

I bring the food with us to our dinner, I try to not notice dirty looks, and my kids are happy and well fed. Don't forget to bring along your safe margarine too!! Luckily cranberry sauce is safe no matter what, so  you don't have to worry about that.

I'm sure you have different foods your kids or family likes. I would love you to share some of your holiday survival ideas for everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving!! Gobble gobble.

Here's some turkey coloring pages to keep your littles busy while you cook.

Adventures in breastfeeding an allergic baby

Some of you may know that I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was a child for all intents and purposes. Hanging out with "that boy" was probably not the smartest thing I ever did, but I did end up with a wonderful little boy that changed my life forever.

I attempted to breastfeed him at the insistence of my mother (yes mom, you insisted) and HATED it. Hate probably isn't even a strong enough word. I was uncomfortable, in pain, confused, to me there was nothing natural about it. I felt like my baby just wasn't doing it right, the pump was a monster, and I was too embarrassed to leave my house. I lasted a mere 5 weeks before running my ass over to the WIC office crying for formula.

Fast forward 11 years (yep, 11 almost to the day) and I present you with the birth of my second and last child. He latched on like a champ. He ate and ate. And in the hospital, I was like "Yup, look at my boobs, I really don't care if you see them." I was not embarrassed to breastfeed in front of everyone that I encountered for that 1 year. My kids friends would be over and I would simply say "Look away for a sec, I need to feed the baby" they were 11 and 12, so they should have a bit of exposure to the REAL purpose of boobies. I was modest, no one saw more than they could see on Prime Time Television or Must See TV, there was no indecent exposure.

For me, it was FREE, convenient, was cleaner, was faster, was easier, and completely natural. Oh how a decade can change things.

BUT.... 4 weeks into it, the baby was all kinds of messed up. His poo was goo, his skin was dry, he was screaming all the time. Throughout my whole pregnancy I was convinced I would finally have a child that could eat out anywhere, enjoy school parties, and go to friends houses without putting the other parents into a panic. Yeah, well... wouldn't you know it, I didn't get my wish.

So I quit eating dairy. 100% all dairy. Not that hard to do, because I knew all the right foods to eat and all the ones to avoid. 2 months went by, no change. The pediatrician I had at the time told me to also stop eating soy. I clearly remember saying to her "Oh, that won't be hard, I don't eat anything that's soy" and she sent me on my merry way. I went home and started to read labels. Oh.Em.Gee!!! Soy was literally in EVERYTHING in my house. Everything. I went a whole month more eating everything but dairy. By this point the baby was pooping blood. I'm a horrid mother.

So I stopped eating soy. Reluctantly. Never once did I even go back to eating dairy, that wasn't the issue for me, being dairy free is really nothing for me, but that DARNED soy!! It's not only in food, but in lotions, soaps, flavored tea, and more!

Food became my mission. My obsession. My goal. Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and The health section of the local grocery stores became my hangout spots. I stopped eating out (because I had to) and couldn't eat at any holiday get together's unless I brought food. That Christmas was horrific. We were running late and I grabbed NO FOOD and spent the whole day starving as there was not one morsel of soy free food in my relative's houses. It was horrible.

I suffered. I hated it. I'm a fatty, so I obviously love food, but suddenly food was my enemy. I fought my enemy. I won that war. I breastfed my pumpkin faced baby for 1 full year. We made it to his birthday, and I nursed him laying in bed one last time. I snuggled him close, breathed him in. I kissed him softly when he was done and said "I love you my sweet boy, Happy Birthday." I cried because I knew that was it. I stayed on my diet from hell for a few more days just in case... and a few days later on the 4th of July I ate. Everything. All of it. I didn't stop. I read no labels. I didn't care. I felt like a prisoner for the better part of a year, and I had just got out of the slammer.

I gained 40 lbs while breastfeeding. I gained another 30 when I quit. I've never been bigger, but it was worth it for the health benefits, the bonding, the closeness, the love. I'd like to add "the savings" onto that list, but I fear that my food bills ended up being more than my formula expense would have been since his insurance covered the Neocate in full for that whole first year, but I didn't care. I wanted to breastfeed.

So if you need to go dairy free to breastfeed, do it happily knowing that you've got it easy. If you have to go soy free... I'm here for support. My biggest advice would be:

Yes, potato chips are soy and dairy free. No, you don't need to eat 7 bags of them a week.